No one enters a marriage thinking that it will end. Many people ignore the signs that it is time to leave for many years before admitting that it is necessary. Still, it is important to know when it is time to admit that your marriage is not working and cannot be repaired. Not all signs are the same for all people, however, there are some telltale signs to watch for to know it is time to move on and move out.
Communication is key to a healthy marriage. However, not all communication is productive. In order to have a healthy marriage, it is important to listen to one another as well as speak. Therefore, if you and your spouse have stopped listening and/or stopped speaking, this may be a red flag. This does not mean you fight all of the time or talk over each other. It may simply mean that you are no longer interested in knowing how your spouse thinks or feels. Your spouse’s view of the world may no longer matter to you and vice versa. Not speaking at all or only maintain small talk type conversations and providing one word answers is sometimes worse than fighting, as it may indicate you no longer care at all, as opposed to caring too much. And while fighting may be something that can be repaired in therapy, not caring is often irreparable. This is a sure-fire sign it is time to move on.
Honesty is essential in any relationship, whether it is a marriage, parent-child, or even an employment relationship. If your marriage is lacking honesty and trust, you will feel that burden on your shoulders daily. You or your spouse may act out in anger, aggression, or distance, creating a volatile environment for all involved. Losing honesty and trust in a relationship is a one way street towards disaster. While you may be able to utilize therapy to begin to repair the damage, you must be honest with yourself. You must know whether you will ever be able to trust your spouse again. If the answer is yes, then work on your marriage. However, if the answer is no, then move on.
Finally, or maybe most importantly, you should always feel safe in your home and with your family. Whether violence occurs once or is part of a pattern, it is never OK. If violence occurs in your home, it is time to leave. Domestic violence can be physical, verbal and emotional. This takes a little more strength and sometimes precautions need to be taken, such as reaching out to a domestic violence professional, helpline or even the police. However, it is always time to leave when violence enters the family unit.
If you are in a situation like the ones described above and are ready to move on, contact the Family Law experts at Lake Harriet Law Office at 612-750-4843. Their team of attorneys can help make this transition as easy as possible for you and your children.