Calming the Storm: Tips for an Amicable Divorce
The media is abundant with horror stories about couples ending their marriages and dragging each other through the mud in the process. Fights over property, finances, kids, and pets are common; common and yet, unnecessary when a couple makes the rational decision to have an amicable divorce.
What It Is and What It Isn’t
The word amicable means, “characterized by friendly goodwill; peaceable,” according to Webster’s Dictionary. At first reading you may believe that there is no way on earth you can have an amicable divorce; however, it is possible once you understand what it is.
Throwing in the towel to get things over quickly is not an amicable divorce. Neither is maintaining a sense of cold cordiality when you and your spouse are in the same room. Nor is it putting on a good game face for the kids and other family members while you go through the rigors of divorce.
An amicable divorce is one in which both parties make a few important decisions about how the divorce is going to proceed. It means making the tough decision to have a peaceful divorce and doing the necessary work to make it so.
When you first married, you had hopes and dreams. Chances are you thought about the future and what that would entail. Now that you’ve made the tough decision to bring your life together to an end, it’s time to gain some perspective about the present and the future.
One of the first steps in an amicable divorce is to make the decision to divorce without blame and that can be difficult. You married for several reasons. They may or may not have gone by the wayside now, but something has changed and now is the time to move past blaming; it won’t help the situation. Move forward by choosing not to place blame.
The next step is to see the big picture. What is really important to you? Sift out all the petty differences and focus on the things that really matter. What are your needs, wants and non-negotiables? When you take the time to focus on those things that are most important, you can get perspective and negotiations can proceed in a more peaceful state. You have clarity and you know why these are the significant things in life.
Good Faith in All Matters
Hiding assets, making false claims, and looking for avenues of retaliation are not aspects of an amicable divorce. Putting all the cards on the table and being transparent with finances and assets are. Honesty and forthrightness are critical to an amicable divorce.
Good faith in all matters is particularly important when kids are involved. Divorce is difficult for kids. You can make it much easier by choosing to divorce amicably. Keeping their wellbeing in mind is paramount.
At Lake Harriet Law, we work diligently for our clients, to help them receive the best financial terms in their divorce, including a fair and equitable financial settlement. If you are considering a divorce, contact our team to begin designing a legal strategy to protect your future.
Randall A. Smith – Managing Attorney 612-750-4843
Jessica Dulz – Student Attorney 612-223-8925
Aubry Fritsch – Student Attorney 612-223-8925